What if I can’t bear weight again?

That’s the question I’ve been asking myself ever since I tore my meniscus.

The first time I realized I couldn’t bear weight was during physical therapy. My therapist asked me to pull my calf up toward my hamstring. When I put my leg back down, it simply wouldn’t hold my weight. I had to wait a few minutes before it finally resolved.

At first, I avoided that exercise and told myself I could live with it. But then more activities began triggering the same sensation—standing up from a seated position, for example. When it happens, it’s frightening. Suddenly I can’t move, and I just have to wait until it passes.

I now understand what has been causing some of it. The meniscus was getting caught under the kneecap, creating all kinds of havoc. The good news is that I believe I can manage and keep moving until surgery—it’s only a month away.

The scariest moment happened a few days ago when I was getting out of my car. I’ve since realized I need to give myself more room so my leg can fully extend. That day, I stepped out and stood up—and immediately couldn’t bear weight. I sat back down, which usually helps. But when I tried again, the same thing happened. I stood up and sat down at least ten times, wondering, What will I do if this doesn’t clear? Thankfully, after a little while, my knee was able to support my weight again.

It was definitely a wake-up call. I don’t ever want to be in a situation where I can’t move because of my knee. I know I need the surgery, and I’m truly looking forward to getting back to normal.